zombiesurance.com

Comprehensive Zombie Insurance

Explanation Of Coverage

DEFINITIONS, EXCLUSIONS AND EXPLANATION OF COVERAGES
PRETEND INSURANCE CLAUSE (MUST READ BEFORE ANY CLAIM IS MADE):
By purchasing this policy you hereby agree that all coverage listed within this policy must be recognized by no less than three individual state certified, anti-zombie physicians, in writing before indemnification can be satisfied and before claim can be paid to the buyer by Zombiesurance™, any site associated with Zombiesurance™, its owners, staff, directors, affiliates, agents, brokers, or any other employee (contracted or otherwise).
- Furthermore, by purchasing this and any other policy from Zombiesurance™ , any site associated with Zombiesurance™ , its owners, staff, directors, affiliates, agents, brokers, or any other employee (contracted or otherwise) —you (the buyer) agree that there is no such aforementioned physician. We wish you the best of luck finding three willing zombie physicians if they did exist. Furthermore, this policy is not binding and never will be binding.
- Zombiesurance™ recognizes that there is a chance that the buyer may believe that zombies do exist, however the buyer, does knowingly recognize that Zombiesurance™, its owners, staff, directors, affiliates, agents, brokers, or any other employee (contracted or otherwise) do not believe that zombies are real and therefore neither is this contract, policy or any other policy associated with Zombiesurance™. The buyer, although believing that zombies are real, recognizes that any and all policies sold on this site are NOT real.
- The buyer also recognizes that this policy will never ever cover damages, losses, perils, risks, or any other feature of real insurance whether related or not related to zombies, the apocalypse, zombification, or any other damages, losses, or costs incurred due to any portion of paranormal activity. Buyer recognizes that Zombiesurance™ exists solely for the fun of it; and is designed specifically for boasting rights in regards to having a fake certificate of insurance and a false proof of zombie insurance cut-out card.
DEFINITIONS:
The words defined within this policy include any and all amendments, endorsements, exclusions and any other written language herein (in no particular order, alphabetic or otherwise):
- Zombie is defined herein as a single human being infected by either: 1.) A hazardous material created by an entity of this planet or another planet inhabited by beings with the ability to create such hazardous material. 2.) The bite or congealed blood of a being that was once human, but due to either reason stated herein, is now neither living nor dead with an appetite for human flesh, blood, brains, or any other portion of the human body in its original and otherwise normal state. A zombie does not breath; has no beating heart and therefore no circulation of blood through any portion of veins, leading to extremely cold skin and stiff epidermis, muscles and therefore movements; has

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extraordinarily little to no brain activity, with the exception of a desire and craving for living human flesh, blood, brains or any other portion of the living human body.

  • For purposes of the definitions written in this policy, a zombie can be classified as a single zombie grouped with no more than 6 total zombies. A group of zombies in number of more than 6 will be classified as a zombie-horde, as defined within these definitions.
  • This policy excludes, within this definition, infection as a direct result of, but not limited to witch craft, sorcery, voodoo, associated charms, spells, curses, hexes, and any other dark magic used for the purpose of zombification or any other purpose resulting in a zombie infection.
  • Further exclusions, within this definition, include the dead rising as a direct result of biblical proportions, within any other religious literature, beliefs, foretelling, prophecies, and the like.
  • A zombie is further classified as a once living and breathing human being, who has died of causes, related to anything other than infection and then through hazardous material seepage through the soil, has come back to life with all the same symptoms as found in a zombie.

Note: Both exclusions may be covered under a separate insurance policy brokered through this site, with its own definitions and exclusions.
- Infection is defined herein as “zombie infection” and can be used interchangeably (Find “zombie infection” below).
- Hazardous material is defined herein as any material or chemical, unnatural or man-made, particularly nuclear or radioactive in nature, the ingredients of which are unknown to most, if not all, civilians of any given state, kingdom, principality, nation, country, or under any government, kingship, dictatorship or rule of any kind. These materials are hazardous to all physical health, mental states, and the normal way of life. Hazardous material, as it pertains to these definitions, whether chemical or material, are the direct cause of zombie infection and/or complete zombification, as defined within the definitions herein.

  • Hazardous material may also include certain nuclear or radioactive chemical with the ability to seep into the soil with or without the aid of rain, flood or other mass liquid seepage. Hazardous material is also capable of bringing an already dead body back to life with all the same symptoms of a zombie, without going through normal transition, as defined by these definitions.

- Zombie-horde is defined herein as multiple-zombies grouped together for the same purpose. However, a zombie-horde may consist of no less 7 zombies grouped together for the same purpose, which purpose is usually to find and feast upon human flesh, blood, brains, and/or any other portion of the living human body. Any other zombies grouped together for the same purpose, in numbers less than 7 will be considered 6 or less single zombies, for the purposes of the definitions within this policy.

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- Zombification is defined herein as the change or transition of a living, breathing human being into a zombie, as defined by the definitions herein.

  • Complete zombification is defined herein as the end result of zombification, wherein the living, breathing human being has absolutely no humanity of any kid or nature left in self; the transformation is therefore complete and permanent. The once human being is then classified as a soulless zombie.

Note: The eyes of an infected individual are enough to determine soullessness and are considered to be the best and only method of indication for complete zombification.

  • Non-transitional zombification is defined herein as zombification of an already dead body, due to hazardous material seepage through the soil, with or without the assistance of rain, flood or any other mass liquid seeping into the soil. The once living, breathing human body, which had already died of causes related to anything other than zombification, comes back to life through said seepage, with all the same symptoms as a zombie, as defined within the definitions herein.

- Zombie infection is defined herein as a metamorphic bacteria formed as the direct result of a zombie bite or hazardous material, as defined within these definitions that transforms a living, breathing human being into a zombie, as defined within these definitions.

  • Exclusions to the definition of infection within this policy include, but are not limited to (see also—the definition of zombie):
  • Infection as a direct result of, but not limited to witch craft, sorcery, voodoo, associated charms, spells, curses, hexes, and any other dark magic used for the purpose of zombification or any other purpose resulting in a zombie infection.
  • Further exclusions, within this definition, include the dead rising as a direct result of biblical proportions, and within any other religious literature, beliefs, foretelling, prophecies, and the like.

Note: Both exclusions may be covered under a separate insurance policy brokered through this site, with its own definitions and exclusions.
- Zombie bite is defined herein as one (or more) pinching, tearing, ripping, scraping, bruising, yanking, tugging, and all other such assaults inflicted by a direct bite with the teeth of a zombie as defined in these definitions.
- Transition is defined as the process involved in events leading up to complete zombification; the slow metamorphic change from human being, in all psychological, corporal, expressive and intellectual states, into characteristics of a zombie, as defined in these definitions, including but not limited to its full and entire definition therein.
o The only non-transitional zombification or zombie that does not go through the normal process of zombification, is when an already dead is brought back to life through hazardous material seepage through the soil with or without the assistance or aid of rain, flood or any other mass liquid seeping through the soil.

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- Indemnification or to indemnify is defined herein as returning that which was lost back to its original state or to a state equal to that which was before a loss occurred. The purpose of insurance is to restore that which was lost without any possibility of gain from that loss. However, after most losses in zombie insurance, that which is lost is gone forever, therefore the indemnification is to restore that which is lost to a state of equal economic standing or benefit to surviving family.
- Suspected infection is defined herein as signs of zombie infection demonstrated in a living, breathing human being. The infection is only suspected and therefore assumed. The highest precautions always follow suspicion and must be taken as seriously as though the infection is without a doubt, certain—with a hope of having no contamination.
- Quarantine is defined herein as the forced segregation and separation of an individual, individuals, or mass amounts of individuals of a specific community for the purpose of protecting the entire population of that community. All rights, privileges, and freedoms are stripped, without possibility of future lawsuit, for the entre deration of the quarantine. Nonintrusive, as well as extremely intrusive testing will be administered, including, but not limited to, physical analysis, blood and urine work, cellular-level sample collecting, laboratory work, psychological evaluation, and other proven, as well as experimental testing.
Specific words within this policy are marked by an asterisk (*) to indicate that there is a definition written within the aforementioned definitions.
EXPLANATION OF COVERAGES:
Zombie bite:
- Coverage against damages and losses resulting directly from a single bite or multiple bites from a single *zombie, as defined in the definitions. Coverage is limited to the following losses:

  • Actual bite and breakage of skin and any costs incurred for the treatment of such damage.
  • Protection against any and all ramifications of a physical nature; all corporal damages incurred due to public fear of the bitten and the protective reaction of such. Coverage is effective only when the infected is the insured.
  • *Infections and the spreading of infections to all parts of the insured’s body as a direct result of a single bite or multiple bites (as defined above)from a *zombie (as defined above).

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  • Solitary quarantine by force from the local, area, or federal authorities and all costs, fees and losses associated with such quarantine. Costs include, but are not limited to:
  • Testing for suspected infections; incarceration if held outside of home for temporary length of time up to a maximum of 6 months; personnel employed for security, monitoring, testing, laboratory results and all other such related costs; use of any and all product in testing; home covered against, break-ins, theft, larceny, malicious mischief, graffiti,
  • Any court costs incurred while in pursuit of personal lawsuit for wrongful incarceration due to *suspected infection against local, area or federal authorities and anyone else otherwise associated with said quarantine.
  • Home and/or pet(s) care and all costs incurred for cleaning, feeding, grooming and any other duties or functions as necessary to the maintaining of the primary home only, the yard of the primary home only, and all pet(s) on any of the insured’s owned property while in quarantine outside of home.
  • There is no coverage for maintenance of any kind available for evacuation or residence, neighborhood, area, environment, city, settlement, or any other habitation regardless of size and on any scale.
  • Extended quarantine (up to 2 years) and any and all costs incurred as a result. Coverage includes, bus is not limited to employment of security, whether local authorities, area authorities, federal authorities or use of armed forces; all laboratory costs; food for staff of every sort and for quarantined individuals; taxes on living expenses while in quarantine; and any other costs incurred.
  • Home and/or pet(s) care and all costs incurred for cleaning, feeding, grooming and any other duties or functions as necessary to the maintaining of the primary home only, the yard of the primary home only, and all pet(s) on any of the insured’s owned property while in quarantine outside of home.
  • There is no coverage for maintenance of any kind available for evacuation or residence, neighborhood, area, environment, city, settlement, or any other habitation regardless of size and on any scale.
  • Indefinite quarantine and any and all costs incurred as a result. Coverage includes, bus is not limited to employment of security, whether local authorities, area authorities, federal authorities or use of armed forces; all laboratory costs; food for staff of every sort and for quarantined individuals; taxes on living expenses while in quarantine; and any other costs incurred.
  • There is no home and/or pet(s) maintenance of any kind for indefinite quarantine. However, this coverage may be offered through a separate policy offered through this site.
  • There is no coverage for maintenance of any kind available for evacuation or residence, neighborhood, area,

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environment, city, settlement, or any other habitation regardless of size and on any scale.

  • Insanity or loss of current peaceful state of mind due as a result of a zombie bite and the infection thereof. All such mental thoughts, activities, and reality that appears unclear, distorted and/or nonexistent, with the exception of appetite for flesh, blood, brains or any other portion of the human body—living or otherwise dead.
  • Loss of usefulness; no longer able to contribute to any or all basic human-kind needs including but not limited to: personal, family, social, community, religious, economic or any other such areas of human life and all costs incurred (or required to be paid) due to the lack of such needs.
  • Costs include but not limited to everyday bills for electricity, water, garbage and sewer, gas, food, and any other living expenses going unpaid due to loss of usefulness as a direct result of a zombie bite.

Protection against such loss will be paid to family of insured if insured is unable to collect after a period of no longer than 3 months. Payments will continue from that time forth for a maximum of 1 year.

Hazardous materials contact:
- Coverage against infection as a result of contamination through hazardous material. Contact through physical touch of actual liquefied product, fumes of such product or secondary contact through material object that was in contact with hazardous material. Protection against any and all costs incurred while in the process of transition, up to complete zombification. Coverage ends upon complete zombification. Does not protect against non-transitional zombification.
Transition:
- Coverage against transitional phase from living human being to corporal zombification, comprising all events leading up to complete zombification as stated in the definitions; all costs incurred; and losses sustained. Coverage includes and is solely limited to the following losses insured against:

  • Change of appetite from sustainable human products of consumption to a deep, unquenchable and all-encompassing craving for and addiction to living human flesh, blood, brains and any other portion of the living human body. All pain, distress, discomfort, moral and ethical dilemma, guilt, frustration and any other mental, emotional, or physical ailments and states of mind associated will be compensated monetarily to the insured’s family no sooner than upon complete zombification of the inured, as described in the definitions.
  • Pains of rigor mortis are limited to the process of rigor mortis from the onset to sustainable relief or complete zombification, whichever comes first. Ongoing coverage against costs incurred for treatment of all pain, discomfort, fear, anxiety and all other mental and corporal ailments resulting from the process of rigor mortis within the time and parameters indicated herein.

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  • Communal and lifestyle modifications, include, but are not limited to employment, religious affiliations, social standing, love in its entirety, including but not limited to emotional, physical, and mental fulfillments, and any other necessary communal and lifestyle modifications that are due as a direct result of transition and/or complete zombification.
  • Loss of soul due to complete zombification, as defined in the definitions of this policy. If the soul is a complete loss and indemnification or return to self as a living, breathing human being is permanently and forever lost, payment will be paid to the surviving family.
  • Decomposition of the corporal body, while in transition. This coverage does not apply in cases where the insured is in the process of transition as a result of non-zombification. Coverage is limited to the following coverage:
  • Loss of limbs shall be *indemnified for loss of up to 4 limbs which includes a maximum two legs and two arms, so long as the each of these limbs were part of the insured’s corporal body at time of zombie infection. Any portion of hand, wrist, forearm, elbow, foot, ankle, calf or knee shall be covered only when the entire limb up to the shoulder and/or the hip has been lost.
  • Protection against any and all ramifications of a physical nature; all corporal damages incurred due to public fear of the bitten and the protective reaction of such. Coverage is effective only when the bitten is the insured.
  • Grotesque appearance covers all costs associated with any plastic surgery and all other such treatments for the purpose of restoring the appearance of the insured, but only up to the time of complete zombification.
  • Protection against any and all ramifications of a physical nature; all corporal damages incurred due to public fear of the bitten and the protective reaction of such. Coverage is effective only when the infected is the insured.
  • Loss of eyes, nose, and/or ears shall be *indemnified for loss of up to a maximum of two eyes, one nose, and two ears all of the same exact corporal body. The entire portion of the ear(s), nose, and/or eyes must be lost in order to be covered under this policy.
  • Protection against any and all ramifications of a physical nature; all corporal damages incurred due to public fear of the bitten and the protective reaction of such. Coverage is effective only when the infected is the insured.

Note: There is absolutely no coverage for loss of teeth.

  • Loss of normal physical mobility as a direct result of decomposition, as long as the insured had normal physical mobility, at the time of infection, equal to or better than the average living, breathing human being. Coverage includes a change in physical mobility due to a dwindling mental state.

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  • Loss of normal speech as a direct result of decomposition, as long as the insured had normal speech, at the time of infection, equal to or better than the average living, breathing human being. This coverage includes a change in patterns of speech due to a dwindling mental state.
  • Excessive weight loss is covered separately from any weight lost at the start and during decomposition. Excessive weight loss due to sickness, lack of normal living, breathing human appetite, drop in body temperature, beginning phases of transition, and any other ailment resulting from zombie infection, but before corporal body begins to decompose.
  • Coverage may include, but not be limited to the beginning stages of transition as recognized by any participating physician.
  • Excessive weight loss excludes, entirely, complete zombification as defined in the definitions of this policy and non-transitional zombification, as defined in the definitions of this policy.
  • Bodily Infestation is limited to non-transitional zombification. Coverage includes, but is not limited to the costs incurred for removal of most any infestation of the corporal body, including, but not limited to, worms, mold, fungus, maggots, Flies and any other unwanted infestation that

 Coverage excludes zombification, as defined in the definitions in this policy.
 Coverage also excludes removal of any infestation that is infectious, contagious, or otherwise harmful to any certified physician, laboratory employee, armed forces personnel, or any other infestation-removal authorized individual.

  • Skin discoloration covers any costs incurred for any medical attention, including, but not limited to, therapy, treatments, time spent in physicians care, and any other associated costs involved in any attempted treatment for reversal or cover of discoloration of the skin, where seen by the public.
  • Protection against any and all ramifications of a physical nature; all corporal damages incurred due to public fear of the bitten and the protective reaction of such. Coverage is effective only when the bitten is the insured.

The Good Samaritan Clause states that any person or persons willingly involved in the aid of any individual undergoing transition, zombification, whether non-transitional or not, or showing symptoms of such, and then contracts a zombie infection as a direct result of that selfless act, agrees to willfully forfeit any and all claims to coverage under this and any other policy associated to this policy. Indemnification, in this case, is null and void and the contract, non-existent.
Property damage:
- Burial or cemetery plot damage as a result of *non-transitional zombification. Coverage against any and all costs incurred as a result of destruction and damages to the

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tombstone, grave marker, grave plate, vases, benches, botanicals, floral arrangements, flowers planted in the ground, tombs, and all other products of a cemetery, memorial, burial ground, or any other plot of land set apart for the burial and memory of a loved one who had passed away.

  • Coverage against an already dead corporal body that rises from the earth or a tomb as a direct result of non-transitional zombification.

- Household personal property damage and all losses and costs incurred. Damage as a direct result of *transition of insured, outside *zombie-horde attacks, apocalyptic devastation, all and any defense against such, including, but not limited to breakage, water damage, fire, purposeful damage to items used as weapons, construction of barricades, and any other damage to property not mentioned herein as a direct result of zombie attacks and apocalyptic devastation to home, auto(s), land, and personal items.
Uninsured and undersinsured zombies covers against any and all *zombies in complete zombification, person(s) in *transition, or any other person or persons without zombie insurance
Health care for detection and/or early stages of suspected infection includes dental care, vision, medical, and Rx (prescription). Covers all costs associated with any and all health care. Covers health care up to, NOT including, quarantine at any level.
- Covers ONLY medical and RX (prescription) in cases of transition.
- Excludes coverage for zombification and complete zombification. This coverage may be brokered out on a separate policy offered on this site.
- WARNING: Any insured seeking treatment for health care in detection or early stages of suspected infection may be an indication and/or suspicion of actual infection and is therefore subject to solitary, extended or indefinite quarantine.
Psychological therapy of survivors includes coverage against damages, losses, and all costs incurred for the treatment of mental breakdown, psychological challenges, stress and anxiety, associated hallucinations, sleeplessness, self-infliction, and any other mental or psychological deteriorations that arise out of a zombie attack, zombie-horde attack, defense of such, or any other zombie related issues that directly affect the mind and psychological state. Covers against damages and losses directly related to the post-traumatic stress of the following, but is not limited to, taking the life of an infected family member, addiction to gore and slaughter, realization that zombies do exist, fear of infection, zombification or death, or any other cause of the aforementioned psychological or mental issues.
Defensive combat against zombie attack liability:
- Bodily damage to household Covers against all and any corporal losses, damages and costs incurred as a direct result of insured’s wild and anxious defense of family and/or property against zombie attacks, multiple-zombie attacks, and/or zombie-horde attacks. This coverage excludes infection, transition, and zombification. Bodily damage cannot result from another living, breathing human being.

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- Personal Property damage Covers against all and any property losses, damages and costs incurred as a direct result of insured’s wild and anxious defense of family and/or property against zombie attacks, multiple-zombie attacks, and/or zombie-horde attacks. This coverage excludes infection, transition, and zombification. Bodily damage cannot result from another living, breathing human being.
- Bodily and personal property damage of others outside of insured’s home and household covers against damages, losses, and all or any costs incurred as a direct result of insured’s wild and anxious defense of self, family, friends, any other person, property or entity from zombie attacks, multiple-zombie attacks and zombie-horde attacks outside the home and property of the insured.

  • Bodily and personal property damage of others covers against damages and losses to property of others while under the watch and care of the insured and/or the insured’s household and all costs incurred as a direct result of wild and anxious defense against zombie attacks, multiple-zombie attacks or zombie-horde attacks.

- Also covers against damage to any home, auto, and/or personal belongings of anyone living, visiting or traveling within 100 yards of the insured’s home as a direct result of successful defense, diversion, expulsion, or any other means of ridding any number of zombies from insured’s home.
Exclusions from defensive combat against zombie attack liability:
- Bodily damage to company of insured or household of insured is excluded. Coverage for company of insured or household of insured may be brokered out and covered under a separate policy offered on this site
- Accidental infection by defending self, family and/or property against a single zombie, multiple-zombies, or a zombie-horde is not covered under this policy if the infection arose from spattered congealed zombie blood, from the defending insured’s self, family or property. Separate coverage under a separate policy may be brokered through this site.
NOTE: Suicide or suicide by infection is never offered on this or any other policy offered on this site. Coverage will discontinue if insured offers up own body to a single zombie, multiple-zombies or a zombie-horde for any reason including, but not limited to, a desire to become a zombie, a desire to end own life to escape zombification or apocalypse, to prove zombies are not real, to save the life of a friend, family member, or anyone else or any other reason.
- Absolutely no “purposeful death” or “purposeful zombification” is eligible for coverage under this policy!
Zombification Liability:
- Property damage of others covers against damages and losses to other’s property outside of the insured’s home and household and all costs incurred as a result of insured’s complete zombification and involvement in any and all zombie attacks.

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- Bodily damage to others covers against corporal damage and losses of others outside of the insured’s home and household and all costs incurred as a result of insured’s complete zombification and involvement in any and all zombie attacks.
- Unintentional contribution covers against complete zombification of insured and/or insured’s household and their inevitable contribution to any mass quarantine, armed force dispatch, economic collapse, apocalypse (worldwide devastation), any and all other such local, area, city, county, state, province, kingdom, nation, country, continental, or worldwide incident of a negative, destructive, wrongful, undesirable, or adverse impact.
Zombie-horde attack Coverage against damages, losses and all costs incurred resulting directly from an attack of a group of more than six *zombies, as defined in the definitions. Coverage is limited to forced evacuation of home, mass quarantine, loss of limbs and other portions of the insured’s corporal body.
- Also covers against infection of insured and/or insured’s household and any costs incurred for treatment, hospitalization, laboratory work, employment of extra staff for care and security and any other costs included as a direct result of a zombie-horde attack, on or off the premises of the insured. This coverage is limited to the onset of transitional phase of zombification.
Storage Depletion:
- Depletion of food storage covers against damage and losses of food stored as a direct result of a zombie, attack, multiple-zombie attack, zombie-horde attack or the apocalypse.

  • Also covers depletion of food storage by use as a direct result of an inability to leave the insured’s residence due to a zombie attack, multiple-zombie attack, zombie-horse attack and/or the Apocalypse.
  • Excludes coverage against damage or depletion of food storage as a direct or indirect result of anything other than a zombie attack, multiple-zombie attack, zombie-horde attack or the Apocalypse.

- Restocking of weapons and ammunition covers against damage and losses of weapons and/or ammunition stored as a direct result of a zombie, attack, multiple-zombie attack, zombie-horde attack or the apocalypse.

  • Also covers depletion of weapons and ammunition by use as a direct result of the need to defend insured, insured’s household and insured’s home and personal property from a zombie attack, multiple-zombie attack, zombie-horse attack and/or the Apocalypse.
  • Excludes coverage against damage or depletion of weapons and ammunition as a direct or indirect result of anything other than a zombie attack, multiple-zombie attack, zombie-horde attack or the Apocalypse.

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Exclusions:
brokered out on a separate policy on this site.
Brokered by Zombiesurance Plus™
- Indefinite home and/or pet care for insured under indefinite quarantine and all costs incurred for cleaning, feeding, grooming and any other duties or functions as necessary to maintain the primary home, yard of primary home, and any and all pets on any of the insured’s property while insured is under quarantine outside of the home for an indefinite period of time.
Note: There is no such maintenance available for evacuation on any scale.
- Zombie infection due to witch craft, sorcery, voodoo and other such dark magic covers against infection, transition, zombification and complete zombification of insured and/or household of insured and any costs incurred as a direct result of any and all intangible ability, craft or black magic considered to be evil and hateful, including, but not limited to witch craft, sorcery, voodoo, hexes, spells, charms, and any other dark or black magic.
- Zombie infection of “biblical proportions” covers against the dead rising and any damage, losses and/or any costs incurred as a direct result of biblical means, prophesies, divine influence, or anything stated within the bible or any other religious literature. Coverage includes protection against, but not limited to zombie attacks, multiple-zombie attacks, zombie-horde attacks, zombie bites, the Apocalypse, infection, transition, zombification and/or any and all religious communities, literature, beliefs, foretelling, prophecies, and the like.
- The Apocalypse is covered in the event that the insured or any of his/her household has survived through and to the very end of the Apocalypse, despite any belief of the insured or what the outcome of the Apocalypse may be. Coverage includes, but is not limited to all damage, losses and costs incurred for physical and/or mental treatment and therapy; damage to home, auto, personal property and corporal body; change of beliefs, daily routine and habits; relocation and travel expenses; burial of immediate family; loss of work; loss of usefulness; any associated cravings, addictions and emotional trauma; laboratory work, testing, and experimental treatments; ongoing pain, aches and personal anguish and torment; learning how to live in a post-apocalyptic environment, and any other life-changing, damaging, costly, and dynamic happening, change or event of a post-apocalyptic nature.
- Extended protection against loss of usefulness (in excess of 1 year) covers against the inability to contribute to any or all basic needs of the insured’s family/household and any and all costs incurred due to the lack the insured’s usefulness. Coverage is to continue for a period of time extending to the death of the spouse, if still living beyond the death of the insured or until the children of the insured reach the age of 30 years, whichever is longer.

  • Costs include but are not limited to everyday bills for electricity, water, garbage and sewer, gas, food, and any other living expenses going unpaid

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due to loss of usefulness only as a direct result of zombification resulting from a zombie bite.
Health care for detection and/or early stages of zombification and complete zombification includes medical and Rx (prescription) coverage only. Covers all costs associated with any and all health care with treatment from any willing and participating physician.
- Bodily damage to company of insured or household of insured covers against corporal and mental damage to individuals visiting, soliciting, sleeping over, traveling with, or any other type of friendly company and any and all costs incurred for treatment of such, as a direct result of a zombie attack, multiple-zombie attack, zombie-horde attack, the Apocalypse, infection, transition, zombification and complete zombification.
Note: any overlapping coverage will only indemnify the insured against the losses. Insured will not be paid addition claims for the same or equal coverage. Coverage that has already been taken into consideration under separate coverage of the same policy or a different policy will not be eligible for further collections.
PRETEND INSURANCE CLAUSE (MUST READ BEFORE ANY CLAIM IS MADE):
By purchasing this policy you hereby agree that all coverage listed within this policy must be recognized by no less than three individual state certified, anti-zombie physicians, in writing before indemnification can be satisfied and before claim can be paid to the buyer by Zombiesurance™, any site associated with Zombiesurance™, its owners, staff, directors, affiliates, agents, brokers, or any other employee (contracted or otherwise).
- Furthermore, by purchasing this and any other policy from Zombiesurance™ , any site associated with Zombiesurance™ , its owners, staff, directors, affiliates, agents, brokers, or any other employee (contracted or otherwise) —you (the buyer) agree that there is no such aforementioned physician. We wish you the best of luck finding three willing zombie physicians if they did exist. Furthermore, this policy is not binding and never will be binding.
- Zombiesurance™ recognizes that there is a chance that the buyer may believe that zombies do exist, however the buyer, does knowingly recognize that Zombiesurance™, its owners, staff, directors, affiliates, agents, brokers, or any other employee (contracted or otherwise) do not believe that zombies are real and therefore neither is this contract, policy or any other policy associated with Zombiesurance™. The buyer, although believing that zombies are real, recognizes that any and all policies sold on this site are NOT real.
- The buyer also recognizes that this policy will never ever cover damages, losses, perils, risks, or any other feature of real insurance whether related or not related to zombies, the apocalypse, zombification, or any other damages, losses, or costs incurred due to any portion of paranormal activity. Buyer recognizes that Zombiesurance™ exists solely for the fun of it; and is designed specifically for boasting rights in regards to having a fake certificate of insurance and a false proof of zombie insurance cut-out card.